Making Memories
by CupCakeyyy
Summary: Azkaban caused Sirius to lose all of his happy memories. But for a Patronus, they are essential and Remus knows how to solve that problem. SLASH
1. Making Memories

Hey everyone :) This fic is written for the QLFC and my attempt on fluff with Dementors. It took me quite a while to get any ideas at all and that I couldn't even manage by myself. Thanks to Karyn for giving me the general idea and to Caro (who isn't on FF yet) for giving me a plot to go by.

_Important_: I had to shorten this one quite a bit (about thousand words). Once this fic is judged, I will replace it with the full version :) So, everyone who likes this story, please stay tuned!

_Warning_: This story is SLASH! If you don't like it, don't read it ;) Just saying..

And now: GO PUDDLES!

Prompts:

2. (word) transformation

14. (word) demon

Enjoy reading! :D

* * *

**Making Memories**

"Lord Voldemort is getting stronger and stronger as we speak. We have to be prepared for the worst."

The silence that followed was absolute.

The members of the Order of the Phoenix sat at a huge wooden table, side by side, turned towards their leader Albus Dumbledore, trying to absorb the news they just received.

They were no idiots. Of course they knew that Voldemort had returned and was gaining power with every passing minute in which they discussed what their next step should be, but hearing it straight out was something different.

"What happened, Albus?" Molly Weasley's voice trembled slightly.

Albus Dumbledore sighed.

"I am certain that every one of you has heard about the mass breakout of Azkaban," he said in a quiet voice, eyes travelling over his faithful followers and friends.

They nodded.

"Well, you see, Voldemort not only managed to break out all of his imprisoned followers, but succeeded in convincing most of the Dementors to join him."

His words were met by shocked silence. Standing up slowly, he braced his hands on the wooden surface of the sturdy old table as he looked in every one of the shocked and frightened looking faces before him.

"You may think that this could turn out to be a problem -"

"_Could turn out to be a problem?_" Sirius Black laughed bitterly and looked sceptically towards the leader of the Light. "We just lost a few thousand of probably one of the darkest species of magical creatures there is. Of course, it's going to be a problem. A bloody huge one!"

Most Order members nodded their heads and started whispering. Voldemort's army was steadily growing and they remained the same number of members, losing some in battle, causing their numbers to slowly but steadily decrease. Not allowing wizards and witches that wanted to fight into the organization was suicide.

"We have to recruit more people, Dumbledore," the deep voice of Kingsley Shacklebolt cut through the excited chatter of whispers.

Dumbledore shook his head slightly.

"We have more severe problems at the moment - problems that need to be solved or at least lessened. Therefore I ask every single one of you to be on guard. No one is to leave the house alone, let alone by night time, unless someone knows what they are planning and where they are going. Last but not least, I wish that everyone in the Order, as well as their families are able to perform a full and powerful corporal Patronus, as that spell is the only meaning of self-defence when it comes to a Dementor."

*~*SBRL*~*

"Try again," Remus Lupin leaned against the wall of the old library at Grimmauld Place, a small frown on his face.

"I can't! Don't you get it? It's not working," Sirius yelled frustrated.

He stared at his wand which Dumbledore had managed to rescue from the clutches of the Ministry of Magic. It was his first ever wand that had never managed to fail him before - until now. But it seemed that although Azkaban was his past now, it never fully let him go.

"Just try it again, Padfoot," Remus said patiently. He wasn't about to give up.

Sirius screamed frustrated and let himself fall onto an old, dark green couch.

"Okay, let's begin from the beginning," Remus sat down next to his best friend.

Sirius grumbled.

"First, you need to choose a happy memory. One that fills you with so much happiness and contentment that you can literally feel it in your very being."

Remus tried his best to stifle a laugh as he saw the man's facial expression.

"Close your eyes. Concentrate."

Sirius sighed and did as he was told.

"Very good. Now listen to my voice and my voice only. Happy memories are memories that fill you with positive feelings, feelings that have the power to overpower the Dark. Search for them. Look at every memory that plops into your head and try to assess its value."

Remus' soft voice was the only thing he heard. Its slightly rough undertone, its intelligent way to formulate a sentence, its warmth that somehow managed to seep deep into him, to warm him and make him feel protected.

He followed that feeling, let it overflow him, control him, lead him to his happy memories. He felt himself being enveloped by the warmth, waiting for the happiness to arrive and make him feel complete - vainly.

He started to get desperate. Somewhere. They had to be _somewhere_! He looked in every corner, in every _oh so_ tiny slit his mind created. The labyrinth of his thoughts getting tighter and more confusing the more he searched.

He screwed up his face, beads of sweat began to gather at his hair line. He had to find them!

*~*SBRL*~*

Remus smiled as Sirius closed his eyes and relaxed, only listening to his voice.

He jumped slightly as Sirius grabbed his hand and squashed it so hard as if he wanted it as flat as a piece of parchment.

His brows were furrowed; drops of sweat ran over his temples.

Gasping, Sirius opened his eyes, without realising his vice grip on Remus.

Puffing out his breath, he swiped over his damp skin.

"Nothing," he said, turning his head to Remus who was watching him intensely. "There is absolutely nothing. Not one small happy memory that could be strong enough to even let me conjure a silver mist. Not one."

Remus watched his friend as he put his head in his hands, repeating the word over and over again. "Nothing. Absolutely nothing."

Azkaban had damaged him more than he could have possibly guessed.

*~*SBRL*~*

Thundering down the stairs, Sirius just barely missed the door to the kitchen and hit the wall face first. Scowling and rubbing his tender nose, he tried to find his Godson among the laughing redheads who had just arrived for the second half of the summer holiday.

Finding the messy raven-black hair among fiery red was not that difficult.

Harry grinned at Sirius, as he threw himself into his Godfather's embrace.

"I missed you," he whispered softly, hugging his father's best friend tightly.

"I missed you too, pup."

Remus stood in the doorway and watched the scene before him with a sad smile, imagining only too well how much it must hurt Sirius to not be able to live with Harry.

"Professor Lupin!"

Remus jerked out of his dark thoughts and smiled lovingly at his dead best friend's son.

"How many times have I told you to call me Remus, Harry?" He opened his arms and Harry went over to him to give him a light hug.

"Sorry," he mumbled, looking anything but sorry. "I'll try to keep that in mind."

"Alright everyone! Grab your trunks and put them into your rooms. We don't want the whole kitchen to be cluttered up like that."

Molly Weasley herded her loud children towards the stairs, chattering and laughing loudly and dragging their trunks behind them.

*~*SBRL*~*

_Glaring at this damn thing won't set in on fire_, he thought grumpily, as he stood in front of the old family tree tapestry in the former office of his father.

How many times had he wished - and tried - to blast this whole thing off the wall, he did not know. It was still hanging there stubbornly as if his parents' past in this house held it there. Which was probably the case. They had most likely put some sticking charms on the back of it to make sure no one - not even their own son - would be able to dislocate it and possibly throw it away.

His eyes wandered over the names of the witches and wizards who where cursed with the surname Black. As he reached the slightly sooty spot where his mother had burned him out of the family tree, he smiled. _Ah, what a wonderful moment that was._

Hearing soft footsteps behind him, he turned around to see Remus walking up to him, a smile on his gentle face.

Sirius smirked and pointed at the tapestry. "Just checking whether it's still as ugly as it was the last time I set foot in this house." He grimaced as the memory of that fateful night plopped up before his inner eye.

"I know what you mean," Remus came to a stop right next to him and gazed up at the ancient piece of cloth on the wall. "It still is, isn't it?"

Laughing bitterly, Sirius nodded. "Unfortunately."

Remus chuckled and turned towards the man beside him. Sirius was watching him intently.

"What is it?"

Blinking, Sirius shook his head and turned his gaze back to the family tree.

"It's nothing," he mumbled quietly, trying to hide the blush that started to creep up to his cheeks.

"Oh, am I interrupting something?" A small voice said from the doorway.

Sirius jumped, but before he could open his mouth to reply, Remus put a smile on his face and went out of the room.

"You're not interrupting anything, Harry. I'll let you two alone," he said, closing the door gently behind him.

Harry sent him a shy smile, running a nervous hand through his messy hair.

"I really didn't mean to interrupt..."

"You didn't interrupt anything, Harry," Sirius said, taking a deep breath to calm down his heartbeat. "What do you have on your mind that brings you here?"

Harry took a hesitant step into the room. His eyes fell on the tapestry and his brows shot up.

Sirius sighed. "Yeah, that's the Black's line of ancestry. This was my childhood home."

Harry eyes widened as he looked at his Godfather.

"I had no idea."

"It's not something I enjoy talking about, if you know what I mean."

Harry blushed and started to shuffle his feet, suddenly finding the wooden floor much more interesting than the tapestry.

Sirius smiled slightly and hugged Harry to his side.

"What was it you wanted to talk about, pup?"

*~*SBRL*~*

"Did you see that? Did you see that, Moony?"

The werewolf laughed and hugged the excited Animagus tightly.

"Yes, I did see it, Padfoot," he chuckled.

"You did it!" He said, proudly looking into his best friend's eyes. "You did it! Now we just have to find an even more powerful memory to turn the mist into a corporal form and we're good to go."

Sirius' smile slipped from his face. Confused, Remus held him at arm's length and tried to gaze into his eyes which were currently looking at anything but him.

"What's wrong?"

"I can't do it," he mumbled dejectedly.

"What? Of course, you can!" Remus grabbed his arms tightly. "Of course you will manage the full Patronus! You did an amazing job so far and there isn't much that's missing. Look, we'll just have to find the right memory and -"

"_The right memory_? It took us - no, _me _- over a whole month to even conjure that bit of silver mist. How long do you think it will take me for a real corporal Patronus? I won't manage that in time! I won't be of any help to the Order. I can't protect myself, let alone any other one from even one Dementor. I'm not capable of feeling happiness anymore," his voice trembled slightly as he squirmed himself free of Remus' grip.

"I won't ever be able to. I thought I left it all behind me and got over Azkaban, but it seems that I was wrong in that case as well."

"Don't say that! With a little bit of time and practise -"

"How much time will I need, huh, Remus? It's been over a year now that I'm out of that shithole and what good did it bring me? I'm not able to cast even a slightly usable Patronus. What if my dream that someday Harry moves in with me after my innocence is made official becomes real and Voldemort decides to hunt him down with a few Dementors? I won't be able to protect him! I am his Godfather and I am supposed to be able to protect him! I promised James that I would be there for his son and that I would do anything so that he isn't lonely or sad or in danger!"

He laughed bitterly as he started to walk to and fro in front of Remus who was watching him with sad eyes.

"I am a shame! What kind of Godfather am I if I can't even manage to protect him from a soul-sucking demon? My so called family couldn't conjure Patronuses either, but they had their reasons. Being a happy Death Eater conjuring a full Patronus in front of their master wasn't the choice to go for."

"Shut up!"

Sirius skidded to a halt. Remus stood not four meters away from him, literally boiling with rage. He gulped. He had never seen gentle and sweet Remus being so enraged.

"That's enough, do you hear me? Don't you fucking dare to compare yourself to that wretched family of yours!"

Sirius felt as if his eyes were about to pop out of their sockets. Did Remus just swear?

"You are nothing like them, don't you get it? I thought James and I got it into your head two decades ago, but that obviously isn't the case. Your parents are cruel, soulless, emotionless people who don't deserve to call themselves your relatives! They have done things to you no one deserves to ever experience, especially not you!"

Blinking, Sirius took a hesitant step back as Remus marched up to him, only to flinch as his best friend wrapped his arms around his torso and hugged him so tightly that he feared he would end up in two pieces during the next three minutes.

A chill ran through him as he felt his warm, sweet breath at his ear, whispering.

"You are the most amazing person I have ever had the fortune to meet, Sirius Orion Black! I haven't forgotten that you were one of the three boys who accepted me as _Remus_ and not as _The Werewolf_. You risked your life to help me during each and every transformation and thus helped to make each one slightly less painful. You have seen me at my worst and still didn't judge me for something that was out of my control.

I have seen so many people looking at me with disgust and fear because of what I am, but you, along with James, never were one of them."

Sniffling, he pressed his face into the crook of Sirius neck and smiled slightly as he felt Sirius' arms come up and hold him, pulling him deeper into the embrace.

"You are a wonderful person, so don't you ever claim anything different ever again. Do you hear me? _Ever_! It isn't your fault that the Patronus is a somewhat more difficult spell for you to re-master, but I tell you, we will re-master it! And I will help you with everything I can. Even if I have to clone some of my memories, curse you into forgetting that they aren't yours... I don't care. I will be here for you, Sirius. Just like you have been for me."

A tear ran over his red cheeks, wetting the skin beneath his face that smelled so wonderful. He hadn't known that Sirius could smell that amazing.

Sirius fought against his own tear. Something wet slit down his neck and he guessed that Remus was crying, but didn't say anything. He only held him more closely, never wanting to let go.

A few minutes later, after the tears had dried and the embrace was less desperate and more loving, they slowly moved apart. Sirius smiled as he looked into Remus face. His eyes were blood-shot, his cheeks blotchy and his nose slightly red. Nearly dried tear tracks marked his smooth skin where just moments ago, tears had wet his cheeks. He had never looked more beautiful.

Slowly, feeling a little bit hesitant, he reached for his cheeks, cupping one in the palm of his hand. The skin was warm and soft. Just like he had imagined it to feel like.

Remus smiled a teary smile. A blush crept up his cheeks, tainting them in a lovely pink shade.

"Don't ever underestimate yourself ever again, okay?" He whispered, leaning into Sirius' hand and closing his eyes.

Sirius' breath caught in his throat. "I won't," he didn't trust his voice. It would sure betray him, making it obvious that there were butterflies in his stomach, causing him to feel as if riding on a broom and making a neck-breaking dive.

Remus opened his eyes. The light brown sparkled in the dim light of the candles burning on the candle holders hanging on the walls around them.

He was so close. He could see every shade of the warm brown colours that made his eyes so special - so_ Remus_.

His heart was pounding in his chest, in constant danger of jumping right out of the rib cage.

He nearly fainted as their lips met.

*~*SBRL*~*

"What is it?"

Remus' hand ran through Sirius' long hair, combing through it. It was soft beneath his skin.

Sirius smiled, wrapped his arm around his waist and pulled him on his lab.

They were sitting in the library on an ancient couch near the fire. The kids, as well as Molly and Arthur were in bed, so they were alone and nobody would disturb their time together.

Sirius kissed Remus on his cheek und turned his gaze towards the flames that were flickering calmly in the hearth.

"I was thinking about Harry," he said, running his hand along Remus side. He shuddered.

"We have to tell him soon."

Remus nodded slowly and looked at his boyfriend sitting beside him. He opened his mouth to say something calming, as the flames began to hiss and Dumbledore's stressed face appeared among them.

"Remus, Sirius, Hogsmead is under attack."

*~*SBRL*~*

The habitants were screaming, the people who were visiting were running around, yelling, trying to pick up every single kid they came across and look for safety.

He felt them before he saw them.

Cold air brushed past his lips, down his throat, freezing his lungs. He couldn't breathe. He started to tremble, but he didn't know whether it was from the cold or just a conditioned reaction as he saw them floating down the street. Their ripped cloaks wafted around them as they made their way to the Order members who were apparating onto the street, freezing at the sight that greeted them.

He heard the desperate cries of the children that got lost in the hectic mass of people that were trying to save their lives.

And then he heard _him_.

"There are too many! What are you waiting for, Sirius! Help!"

He felt himself sucking in as much air as possible; he saw his hand gripping his wand move upwards and point towards the black hooded creatures that sucked every happy thing out of the innocent people in the village.

He closed his eyes and focused on his memories. He needed a happy one, a _powerful_ one and that's when Remus called his name again. And he felt it. The feeling of warmth, of being accepted and loved enveloped him and warmed his very being. And he knew that he could do it. He knew that he could save the person - _the people_ - he loved.

Determined, he opened his eyes, focused his gaze on the darkest species of magical creatures alive and yelled, "_Expecto Patronum_!"

* * *

I hope you liked it! Please leave a comment :) I really appreciate your opinion!

**Word count: **3276


	2. Making Memories - Full Version

Ahh, here it is: the long version I promised :) This one has over 4000 words, so I had to shorten it for the competition. I hope I did well ;)

_Prompts:_

_2. (word) transformation_

_14. (word) demon_

Have fun reading!

* * *

**Making Memories**

"Lord Voldemort is getting stronger and stronger as we speak. We have to be prepared for the worst."

The silence that followed was absolute.

The members of the Order of the Phoenix sat at a huge wooden table, side by side, turned towards their leader Albus Dumbledore, trying to absorb the news they just received.

They were no idiots. Of course they knew that Voldemort had returned and was gaining power with every passing minute in which they discussed what their next step should be. But the elderly wizard had never spoken it out loud before. Voldemort was back and he was summoning his forces to start the next war over the wizarding world.

"What happened, Albus?" Molly Weasley's voice trembled slightly.

She was afraid. Afraid not only for herself and her husband, but for her eight children, biological and practically adopted.

Albus Dumbledore sighed.

"I am certain that every one of you has heard about the mass breakout of Azkaban," he said in a quiet voice, eyes travelling over his faithful followers and friends.

They nodded.

"Well, you see, Voldemort not only managed to break out all of his imprisoned followers, but succeeded in convincing most of the Dementors to join him in his plan to rid the world of every Muggle and Muggleborn alive."

His words were met by shocked silence. Standing up slowly, he braced his hands on the wooden surface of the sturdy old table as he looked in every one of the shocked and frightened looking faces before him.

"You may think that this could turn out to be a problem -"

"_Could turn out to be a problem?_" Sirius Black laughed bitterly and looked sceptically towards the leader of the Light. "We just lost a few thousand of probably one of the darkest species of magical creatures there is. Of course, it's going to be a problem. A bloody huge one!"

Most Order members nodded their heads and started whispering. Voldemort's army was steadily growing and they remained the same number of members, losing some in battle, causing their numbers to slowly but steadily decrease. Not allowing wizards and witches that wanted to fight into the organization was suicide.

"We have to recruit more people, Dumbledore," the deep voice of Kingsley Shacklebolt cut through the excited chatter of whispers. "Not only those with enough experience, but those who are willing to risk their lives for Magical Great Britain."

"He is right, Albus," ex-Auror Alastor Mad-Eye Moody boomed into the room. "Possibly even volunteers who are yet to turn seventeen."

Molly jumped up on her feet, beet red, and glared at the eccentric man.

"I won't allow any of my other children to join the Order! Not Ginny, not Ron, or Harry or Fred and George -"

"Molly, dear," her husband put a gentle hand on her shoulder and pushed her back onto her chair. "Fred and George are old enough. They can do whatever they like."

"They are just children," she hissed, tears threatening to spill. "I don't want them to risk their lives if they have a chance not to."

"Molly," Arthur wrapped his arm around her trembling form and hugged her gently. "Let _them_ decide."

Dumbledore cleared his throat to focus the attention back on the most pressing matter - Voldemort.

"That is something we have enough time to discuss later on. But we have more severe problems at the moment - problems that need to be solved or at least lessened. Therefore I ask every single one of you to be on guard. No one is to leave the house alone, let alone by night time, unless someone knows what they are planning and where they are going. Furthermore, the press is to be informed, for it may make a small difference in the community to be aware of the current situation. Last but not least, I wish that everyone in the Order, as well as their families are able to perform a full and powerful corporal Patronus, as that spell is the only meaning of self-defence when it comes to a Dementor."

*~*SBRL*~*

"Try again," Remus Lupin leaned against the wall of the old library at Grimmauld Place, a small frown on his face.

"I can't! Don't you get it? It's not working," Sirius yelled frustrated.

He stared at his wand which Dumbledore had managed to rescue from the clutches of the Ministry of Magic. It was his first ever wand that had never managed to fail him before - until now. But it seemed that although Azkaban was his past now, it never fully let him go.

"Just try it again, Padfoot," Remus said patiently, smiling inwardly. _Sirius has always been one of the impatient ones, _he thought fondly, only to jump as said person screamed frustrated and let himself fall onto an old, dark green couch.

"Okay, let's begin from the beginning," Remus sat down next to his best friend.

Sirius grumbled.

"First, you need to choose a happy memory. One that fills you with so much happiness and contentment that you can literally feel it in your very being."

Remus tried his best to stifle a laugh as he saw the man's facial expression.

"Close your eyes. Concentrate."

Sirius sighed and did as he was told. _Why the hell not. Can't get any worse, can it?_

Taking a deep breath to calm himself, Sirius tried to concentrate on the few happy memories in his life, most of which were with the Marauders.

"Very good. Now listen to my voice and my voice only. Happy memories are memories that fill you with positive feelings, feelings that have the power to overpower the Dark. Search for them. Look at every memory that plops into your head and try to assess its value."

Remus' soft voice was the only thing he heard. Its slightly rough undertone, its intelligent way to formulate a sentence, its warmth that somehow managed to seep deep into him, to warm him and make him feel protected.

He followed that feeling, let it overflow him, control him, lead him to his happy memories. He felt himself being enveloped by the warmth, waiting for the happiness to arrive and make him feel complete - vainly.

He started to get desperate. Somewhere. They had to be _somewhere_! He looked in every corner, in every _oh so_ tiny slit his mind created. The labyrinth of his thoughts getting tighter and more confusing the more he searched.

He screwed up his face, beads of sweat began to gather at his hair line. He had to find them!

*~*SBRL*~*

Remus smiled as Sirius closed his eyes and relaxed, only listening to his voice.

Even back in the old days, when he, Sirius, James and Pettigrew had been at Hogwarts, barely knowing each other, he had found it fascinating how easily Sirius managed to trust others. Later on, as James had told him how Sirius' life had used to be, the fascination had turned into awe. Sirius, being such a nice, loyal and trusting boy having to live through the hell his childhood used to be and still being_ himself_. Even after Hogwarts, life hadn't treated him well - the war influencing one's very way of living, of looking at people, his friends, no, _family _dying because of what he had suggested, followed by over a decade of Azkaban, a living hell.

Remus hadn't noticed that sometime during his reverie, Sirius had grabbed his hand which he now squashed like he wanted it as flat as a piece of parchment.

His brows were furrowed; drops of sweat ran over his temples.

Gasping, Sirius opened his eyes, without realising his vice grip on Remus.

Puffing out his breath, he swiped over his damp skin.

"Nothing," he said, turning his head to Remus who was watching him intensely. "There is absolutely nothing. Not one small happy memory that could be strong enough to even let me conjure a silver mist. Not one."

Remus watched his friend as he put his head in his hands, repeating the word over and over again. "Nothing. Absolutely nothing."

Azkaban had damaged him more than he could have possibly guessed.

*~*SBRL*~*

Thundering down the stairs, Sirius just barely missed the door to the kitchen and hit the wall face first. Scowling and rubbing his tender nose, he tried to find his Godson among the laughing redheads who had just arrived for the second half of the summer holiday.

Finding the messy raven-black hair among fiery red was not that difficult.

Harry grinned at Sirius, as he threw himself into his Godfather's embrace.

"I missed you," he whispered softly, hugging his father's best friend tightly.

"I missed you too, pup."

Sirius held Harry an arm's length, eyeing him from parting to toe. He hadn't changed much. Hair as messy as ever, grin as brilliant as ever, reminding him of his brother and sister as much as ever - maybe a little more so - and being about six inches taller than the last time he had seen him.

"In the name of Merlin's finest underpants, you have grown quite a bit!"

Harry laughed and hugged him again.

Remus stood in the doorway and watched the scene before him with a sad smile. He knew how much Sirius missed James and he knew how much it hurt him to both see and not see James' son. Either way, hurting Padfoot got easier with time and that hurt Remus probably more than Sirius knew.

"Professor Lupin!"

Remus jerked out of his dark thoughts and smiled lovingly at his dead best friend's son.

"How many times have I told you to call me Remus, Harry?" He opened his arms and Harry went over to him to give him a light hug.

"Sorry," he mumbled, looking anything but sorry. "I'll try to keep that in mind."

"Alright everyone! Grab your trunks and put them into your rooms. We don't want the whole kitchen to be cluttered up like that."

Molly Weasley pushed herself through her loud children, as they began to drag their trunks in the stairs' direction, chattering and laughing loudly.

"Sirius, Remus, it's good to see you."

Sirius smiled and gave her a light kiss on her cheek. He may not agree with the way she sometimes treated Harry, but he knew that Harry somewhat saw her as a mother figure, so he knew to shut up.

"You too, Molly. I'm glad, Dumbledore agreed with the kids coming over."

Smiling, Molly put her own bag down next to the kitchen table, pushing a strand of bright red hair out of her slightly sooty face.

"Of course, he would allow it," she said, smiling at Arthur as he picked up her luggage and started carrying the bags upstairs. "It's safe here, isn't it?_ And_ it's the Order's headquarters, so what better protection for Harry than the whole Order of the Phoenix?"

"Yeah..." Sirius tried to smile, but it felt more like a grimace to him. "The Order... Of course."

*~*SBRL*~*

"It just isn't working."

The wand slipped out of Sirius hand, clattering on the floor.

He was a mess. He had tried to re-learn the spell for the last two hours and twelve pieces of chocolate, one hand full of pulled out hair and a near mental breakdown later, Sirius could perform the spell as well as before - which was not very good.

His hair stood on edge, rebelling against the usually neat order he so fiercely protected, his hands were trembling and his determination was in danger of vanishing into oblivion.

Remus scratched his unshaven chin. This was going to be difficult. The Dementors and literally sucked every bit of joy and positive feelings out of Sirius, leaving behind a bitter, desperate shell of what used to be a hilarious, joyful young man.

But he knew what Sirius needed. And he knew that, if they just worked on it, they would succeed. Maybe not tomorrow, or even next week, but sooner rather than later, they would accomplish this task.

He just knew it.

*~*SBRL*~*

_Glaring at this damn thing won't set in on fire,_ he thought grumpily, as he stood in front of the old family tree tapestry in the former office of his father.

How many times had he wished - and tried - to blast this whole thing off the wall, he did not know. It was still hanging there stubbornly as if his parents' past in this house held it there. Which was probably the case. They had most likely put some sticking charms on the back of it to make sure no one - not even their own son - would be able to dislocate it and possibly throw it away.

His eyes wandered over the names of the witches and wizards who where cursed with the surname Black. As he reached the slightly sooty spot where his mother had burned him out of the family tree, he smiled. _Ah, what a wonderful moment that was._

Hearing soft footsteps behind him, he turned around to see Remus walking up to him, a smile on his gentle face.

Sirius smirked and pointed at the tapestry. "Just checking whether it's still as ugly as it was the last time I set foot in this house." He grimaced as the memory of that fateful night plopped up before his inner eye.

"I know what you mean," Remus came to a stop right next to him and gazed up at the ancient piece of cloth on the wall. "It still is, isn't it?"

Laughing bitterly, Sirius nodded. "Unfortunately."

Remus chuckled and turned towards the man beside him. Sirius was watching him intently.

"What is it?"

Blinking, Sirius shook his head and turned his gaze back to the family tree.

"It's nothing," he mumbled quietly, trying to hide the blush that started to creep up to his cheeks. Had he just stared at Remus for no good reason and was_ blushing_ because he caught him looking? _I just lost track of thoughts and he just happened to be the last thing I was looking at. Yeah... That has to be it_. But what was the warm, fussy feeling he felt in his stomach? He knew that feeling... But from where?

"Oh, am I interrupting something?" A small voice said from the doorway.

Sirius jumped, but before he could open his mouth to reply, Remus put a smile on his face and went out of the room.

"You're not interrupting anything, Harry. I'll let you two alone," he said, closing the door gently behind him.

Harry sent him a shy smile, running a nervous hand through his messy hair.

"I really didn't mean to interrupt..."

"You didn't interrupt anything, Harry," Sirius said, taking a deep breath to calm down his heartbeat. "What do you have on your mind that brings you here?"

Harry took a hesitant step into the room. His eyes fell on the tapestry and his brows shot up.

Sirius sighed. "Yeah, that's the Black's line of ancestry. This was my childhood home."

Harry eyes widened as he looked at his Godfather.

"I had no idea."

"It's not something I enjoy talking about, if you know what I mean."

Harry blushed and started to shuffle his feet, suddenly finding the wooden floor much more interesting than the tapestry.

Sirius smiled slightly and hugged Harry to his side.

"What was it you wanted to talk about, pup?"

*~*SBRL*~*

"Did you see that? Did you see that, Moony?"

The werewolf laughed and hugged the excited Animagus tightly.

"Yes, I did see it, Padfoot," he chuckled.

Sirius had just managed to conjure a Patronus - a rather week one, but the silver mist had unmistakably been a Patronus.

"You did it!" He said, proudly looking into his best friend's eyes. "You did it! Now we just have to find an even more powerful memory to turn the mist into a corporal form and we're good to go."

Sirius' smile slipped from his face. Confused, Remus held him at arm's length and tried to gaze into his eyes which were currently looking at anything but him.

"What's wrong?"

"I can't do it," he mumbled dejectedly.

"What? Of course, you can!" Remus grabbed his arms tightly. "Of course you will manage the full Patronus! You did an amazing job so far and there isn't much that's missing. Look, we'll just have to find the right memory and -"

"_The right memory_? It took us - no, _me_ - over a whole month to even conjure that bit of silver mist. How long do you think it will take me for a real corporal Patronus? I won't manage that in time! I won't be of any help to the Order. I can't protect myself, let alone any other one from even one Dementor. I'm not capable of feeling happiness anymore," his voice trembled slightly as he squirmed himself free of Remus' grip.

"I won't ever be able to. I thought I left it all behind me and got over Azkaban, but it seems that I was wrong in that case as well."

"Don't say that! With a little bit of time and practise -"

"How much time will I need, huh, Remus? It's been over a year now that I'm out of that shithole and what good did it bring me? I'm not able to cast even a slightly usable Patronus. What if my dream that someday Harry moves in with me after my innocence is made official becomes reality and Voldemort decides to hunt him down with a few Dementors? I won't be able to protect him! I am his Godfather and I am supposed to be able to protect him! I promised James that I would be there for his son and that I would do anything so that he isn't lonely or sad or in danger!"

He laughed bitterly as he started to walk to and fro in front of Remus who was watching him with sad eyes.

"I am a shame! What kind of Godfather am I if I can't even manage to protect him from a soul-sucking demon? My so called family couldn't conjure Patronuses either, but they had their reasons. Being a happy Death Eater conjuring a full Patronus in front of their master wasn't the choice to go for."

"Shut up!"

Sirius skidded to a halt. Remus stood not four meters away from him, literally boiling with rage. He gulped. He had never seen gentle and sweet Remus being so enraged.

"That's enough, do you hear me? Don't you fucking dare to compare yourself to that wretched family of yours!"

Sirius felt as if his eyes were about to pop out of their sockets. Did Remus just swear?

"You are nothing like them, don't you get it? I thought James and I got it into your head two decades ago, but that obviously isn't the case. Your parents are cruel, soulless, emotionless people who don't deserve to call themselves your relatives! They have done things to you no one deserves to ever experience, especially not you!"

Blinking, Sirius took a hesitant step back as Remus marched up to him, only to flinch as his best friend wrapped his arms around his torso and hugged him so tightly that he feared he would end up in two pieces during the next three minutes.

A chill ran through him as he felt his warm, sweet breath at his ear, whispering.

"You are the most amazing person I have ever had the fortune to meet, Sirius Orion Black! I haven't forgotten that you were one of the three boys who accepted me as Remus and not as The Werewolf. You risked your life to help me during each and every transformation and thus helped to make each one slightly less painful. You have seen me at my worst and still didn't judge me for something that was out of my control.

I have seen so many people looking at me with disgust and fear because of what I am, but you, along with James, never were one of them."

Sniffling, he pressed his face into the crook of Sirius neck and smiled slightly as he felt Sirius' arms come up and hold him, pulling him deeper into the embrace.

"You are a wonderful person, so don't you ever claim anything different ever again. Do you hear me? _Ever_! It isn't your fault that the Patronus is a somewhat more difficult spell for you to re-master, but I tell you, we will re-master it! And I will help you with everything I can. Even if I have to clone some of my memories, curse you into forgetting that they aren't yours... I don't care. I will be here for you, Sirius. Just like you have been for me."

A tear ran over his red cheeks, wetting the skin beneath his face that smelled so wonderful. He hadn't known that Sirius could smell that amazing.

Sirius fought against his own tear. Something wet slit down his neck and he guessed that Remus was crying, but didn't say anything. He only held him more closely, never wanting to let go.

A few minutes later, after the tears had dried and the embrace was less desperate and more loving, they slowly moved apart. Sirius smiled as he looked into Remus face. His eyes were blood-shot, his cheeks blotchy and his nose slightly red. Nearly dried tear tracks marked his smooth skin where just moments ago, tears had wet his cheeks. He had never looked more beautiful.

Slowly, feeling a little bit hesitant, he reached for his cheeks, cupping one in the palm of his hand. The skin was warm and soft. Just like he had imagined it to feel like.

Remus smiled a teary smile. A blush crept up his cheeks, tainting them in a lovely pink shade.

"Don't ever underestimate yourself ever again, okay?" He whispered, leaning into Sirius' hand and closing his eyes.

Sirius' breath caught in his throat. "I won't," he didn't trust his voice. It would sure betray him, making it obvious that there were butterflies in his stomach, causing him to feel as if riding on a broom and making a neck-breaking dive.

Remus opened his eyes. The light brown sparkled in the dim light of the candles burning on the candle holders hanging on the walls around them.

He was so close. He could see every shade of the warm brown colours that made his eyes so special - so _Remus_.

His heart was pounding in his chest, in constant danger of jumping right out of the rib cage.

He nearly fainted as their lips met.

*~*SBRL*~*

"What is it?"

Remus' hand ran through Sirius' long hair, combing through it. It was soft beneath his skin.

Sirius smiled, wrapped his arm around his waist and pulled him on his lab.

They were sitting in the library on an ancient couch near the fire. The kids, as well as Molly and Arthur were in bed, so they were alone and nobody would disturb their time together.

Sirius kissed Remus on his cheek und turned his gaze towards the flames that were flickering calmly in the hearth.

"I was thinking about Harry," he said, running his hand along Remus side. He shuddered.

"We have to tell him soon."

Remus nodded slowly and looked at his boyfriend sitting beside him. He opened his mouth to say something calming, as the flames began to hiss and Dumbledore's stressed face appeared among them.

"Remus, Sirius, Hogsmead is under attack."

*~*SBRL*~*

The habitants were screaming, the people who were visiting were running around, yelling, trying to pick up every single kid they came across and look for safety.

He felt them before he saw them.

Cold air brushed past his lips, down his throat, freezing his lungs. He couldn't breathe. He started to tremble, but he didn't know whether it was from the cold or just a conditioned reaction as he saw them floating down the street. Their ripped cloaks wafted around them as they made their way to the Order members who were apparating onto the street, freezing at the sight that greeted them.

He heard the desperate cries of the children that got lost in the hectic mass of people that were trying to save their lives.

And then he heard _him_.

"There are too many! What are you waiting for, Sirius! Help!"

He felt himself sucking in as much air as possible; he saw his hand gripping his wand move upwards and point towards the black hooded creatures that sucked every happy thing out of the innocent people in the village.

He closed his eyes and focused on his memories. He needed a happy one, a _powerful _one and that's when Remus called his name again. And he felt it. The feeling of warmth, of being accepted and loved enveloped him and warmed his very being. And he knew that he could do it. He knew that he could save the person - _the people_ - he loved.

Determined, he opened his eyes, focused his stare on the darkest species of magical creatures alive and yelled, "_Expecto Patronum_!"

* * *

For those of you who are following my story 'Visitation', I just started writing the next chapter. Just so you know: I haven't abandoned it. I will NEVER abandon ANY of my stories!

I hope you liked the extra (approximately) 1400 words :D Please leave a comment.

See ya!


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